The God of Buses

It was a bad day for Nicholas. It was bad as bad days go, but not as bad as worse days go. There technically wasn’t a big difference between bad days and worse days, though one would prefer a bad day rather then a worse day no?

So being a bad day for Nicholas, one would assume tons of extremely crappy stuff happening to him. Well, not really, as that could possibly fall under the worse day category, it would have most probably fallen under the Apocalypse day. Or the equivalent anyway.

Nicholas was waiting for the bus. He had just missed the bus by the smallest fractions of seconds. You know, the ones where you just reach the bus door and the door closes in your face and the bus driver immediately turns blind and deaf and can’t:

1. See you waving frantically at the bus door;

2. Hear you pounding and screaming to stop and open the door;

3. Or worse off, turns and cheerfully smiles and gives you a wave* and drives off.


*The middle digit waves are pretty popular these days, or so Nicholas heard.

Now the bus was late. And Nicholas was late too. He was pretty late in fact. If he were any later then the current late, he would be extremely late. This of course wouldn’t make any difference since he was already late. But Nicholas was a stickler for not being too late. You didn’t want to be extremely late, because it tended to piss people off. Generally, fifteen to thirty minutes lateness would just fall under a too late category while anything after that would mean that everyone would conveniently forget to remember to ask you out the next time.

It wasn’t Nicholas’s fault that he was late though. The bus that he was waiting for was being held up by the God of Buses. Yes. The God of Buses. The one God that controls all the schedules, price hikes and the non-air-conditioned buses that always appear when it’s a hot sunny day and the ventilation has broken down. He also does the extremely freezing air-conditioned buses that appear when it’s raining heavily and you’re soaked to the bone for not bringing an umbrella because it was a generally unpleasant/bad/worse/Apocalypse day for you.

The GoB was having his way with the poor bus, and deriving as much pleasure from the bus as humans normally get with sex.* GoB had no intention of letting this adorable little plum of a bus go just yet. Plus the curses and screams from late passengers afforded him even more pleasure, the sort of accompaniment one normally gets from S&M. He also had an exclusive deal with the God of Taxis with regards to late passengers.

*possibly lots of loud moaning and wet sticky messes, though in this case it’s probably loud engine growls and wet greasy oil spills.

So as Nicholas waited and waited, streams of empty cabs would speed pass the bus-stop which he waited, and finally knowing he could wait no longer, decided to take a cab to his appointment. To which, GoT sent streams and streams of non empty cabs and seemingly empty cabs with a “On-Call” sign.

It was a bad day, but it could only get… worse.